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Dating After a Breakup – Advice For Lonely Singles Taken From the Movie Swingers

No Commented Saturday, June 13th, 2009

Under: How to Get Back With My Ex

Dating after a breakup is hard to do. In the movie ‘Swingers’ starring Vince Vaughn and Jon Favreau, Favreau’s character Mikey is a shell of the man he once was. He is obsessed with his ex-girlfriend, he can barely eat, and during one scene he is isolated with a pretty girl in Las Vegas and resorts to talking about his ex-girlfriend instead of enjoying the moment with the beautiful woman sitting next to him.

Mikey’s situation is not uncommon. It is not easy to get back into the ‘game’ after a rough breakup. You might feel as if your world has flipped on its side, that your common comforts and rituals have now totally changed. You might feel as if your identity has changed, never to be the same again.

Recall from the movie that Mikey’s worst quality was his depression and his neediness for his ex-girlfriend. He was his own worst enemy. What does this mean for you? DON’T BE NEEDY! If I could give you just one piece of advice it would be that. Your depression and neediness is not attractive, and you can only receive the energy that you send out…aka – sending out neediness and depression? Don’t expect to attract the cheerful, airy type.

So – To get your dating confidence back, the most important thing you can do is to increase your confidence and to take your mind off of your ex. This means to try new activities, and to harness the support of your close friends. In Mikey’s situation, he had 2 supportive friends telling him how ‘money he was’ and encouraging him with stories of girls being little white bunnies, and men being big bears with dangerous claws and fangs. Your most helpful friends will be both your biggest supporters and biggest critics.

Once you’ve got some swagger back, the next steps are to follow the right tactics on your dates. The first piece of info I can give you is to just do it. You don’t need to marry the person, you are just being social, meeting people, possibly finding common interests. You are networking. You won’t die, no matter how nervous you feel or how scared you are of peeing yourself.

Good Luck!

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